From: Angelic Building & Construction (AB&C Team - Sector 6)
To: Head of Mansion Construction
Subject: Heavenly Real Estate Boom
During the fourth quarter, there has been a rapid increase in soul winning on earth. While this is wonderful news, it has implications that must be addressed by our division.
As you know, our master carpenter (May he reign forever) promised each believer a mansion. Ever since he arrived back in heaven, our construction division has been working hard. At first, it was easy to keep up with the needs and at one point during the Middle Ages we were actually ahead of schedule. However, in these last days there has been a massive surge in demand.
As a case in point, Daniel & Jessica King just finished a Soul Winning Festival in Ethiopia and had over 45,000 people pray with them for salvation in just four days. When we received the work order for that many new mansions my wings almost fell off.
Here are my recommendations for accommodating this new growth:
1. The sector of heaven we are working on is almost full, I recommend opening up a new area. Real estate prices are going way up due to supply and demand. We’ll have to push back the gates of hell and use some of the land they were planning on using. They won’t be needing it anymore.
2. Alert the pavement angels. Increase their gold brick quota ten-fold.
3. Send a messenger to the head office and get blue prints for all the new houses. You know how much Jesus likes to individualize each house plan.
4. Pull some of the angels off “fiesta duty” and send them to help me build. I know its fun throwing a party every time a sinner gets saved, but if we don’t step up the pace we’ll never get finished before the M-SOL (Marriage Supper Of the Lamb).
No one here knows the day or the hour Jesus will be heading back to get his bride, but we do know the time is very close. We anticipate having the greatest harvest of souls in history just prior to his return. If we are going to have the mansions anywhere near complete, we need to get hopping on this immediately. We will have an eternity to rest, but right now there is no time to waste.